It's been a while

Well, maybe not a while...it's been a year since the last time i post something on this blog.

Many thing has changed. School, age, college, and also...boyfriend.

You know, teenager stuffs. Past years i've been kinda get the best part of life so far.

First, High school.

Yep, i've graduated and gonna continue my study to college in different city. It was sad knowing that you'll be leaving peoples you love in hometown. Parents, family, best friends. I cried a lot tbh. But everything i do is just looking at the bright side. Ahead. Future. This is the next step of life, i have to be ready and do my best. There's always a 'Hi' and 'Bye' right? Age.

Good news, i turned 17 last May 29th.

Yay!

Well, i wasn't that happy actually. Many things messed my mind up. What am i gonna be after this? Will i pass the final exams? What about college? Am i ready to leave the peoples i used to be with? Can i survive the college and graduate in time?

Well, just like that.

Sometimes i wish i could be forever young. don't have to be older, grow up, working, be an adult, with husband and kids..i wish i could just stay in this phase. Happily 17, teenager. But like it or not, life goes on. 

Luckily, i've been accepted on the most-wanted faculty in the one of most popular University. Yep, i'm entering Psychology. Nice. But it means i have to spend 7 years till Master degree so that i could have my own clinic and work as an official "Psychologist".

Let's skip to boyfriend thingy. Just call him "Romeo".

I met him in 10th grade for the 1st time. He wasn't a kind of my type that time. Besides, tbh, i was fat and really really not a kind of girl a guy will interested to. Thank God i have a pretty good brain and personality. You know, good grades, always in the Top 2 ranks, join in English debates club and olympiads, etc.

On the 1st semester, i wasn't so close with him. He's not a kind of guy who easily open to girls. But, i don't really care about it. I have my own friends, so did he.

Things changed on the 2nd semester. My classroom teacher split up our sit-partner. So i was no longer sit with my close friend. Instead, guess who i was sit with? Yep, Romeo. I had to sit with him for the whole semester. But apperently, that was nice. We got so close to each other. And, imo, he's a good guy.

We made homeworks together, texting each other, and best part was...waiting our parent to pick us up together. We got close so fast. None of us had a gf/bf that time. But i kinda sad when i knew that he had a crush with a girl from another class.

But, you know me. I never take a relationship with guy seriously. School is alwas my #1 priority.

2nd semester was done.

Me and Romeo entered different class. I took Language Program and he took Science. Again, i was a bit upset knowing that we wouldn't see each other often again. But that was before i found out that our class was next-door neighbour.

I was just like, YAAAAYY!

But sometimes things just didn't work out as i wanted. There was a problem between our friends. Cold war. Made me couldn't see him as much as i wanted. Maybe so did he.

I almost forgot the last time we talked to each other. Until one day we started texting each other again.

I used to help him working on his homeworks about English and Japanese, since he hardly could survive those subjects. But that was fine. I enjoyed it very much. Every single time we talked, chatt, texting.

Idk, i forgot since when did i start to adore everything about him. Everything i know was i don't wanna lose him.

Now, it's been a month since the last time we met. Last time i met him was on my 17th birthday. Well, no party. Just a simple lunch on a fast-food restaurant with my bestfriends and other close friends, included him.

I nervously called him 2 days before my birthday, and i invited him. And thank God, he said YES!

That day, seemed like all of my friends understood about the situation. They just left us alone in a same table. Kinda awkward. We sat in front of each other, face to face. He started sweaty. He said he was nervous, so i tried to calm him down.

We talked about some stuffs, then back to silence. short talk again, silence again. Just like that till i decided to order the foods. Then we ate together, small talk, and on 2pm he decided to go home. God, i wish i could turn back the time and talk to him more.

I wish i could just tell him my feeling... But how could i be so sure? He never tell me how he feels anyway. So, i think...i've tried hard. Gave him chances to show me his feeling, but he never did. My heart was quiet hurt. I cried a lot to release the pain that came often everytime i remember about him.

So, that's it.

I decided to let him go and move on. Eventhough i don't really know how...But, i wish time will heal the wound and erase the memories. Maybe not erase it, just..make it blur.

I still remember last time (again) i texted him on July 7th after the National University Selection test announcement. I texted him, i asked if he was accepted or not. He never reply. Till today.

He deactivated his facebook, never open his Twitter again and...yeah...the bright side is now that the pain is gone. I remember him, i miss him, but it never hurt as much as before. All i keep doing for him now is just praying. I always pray that God will take care of him and give His best plan for him.

Dear Romeo, even if our story was a lil bit sad till the end, i never regret that feeling i once felt towards you.

That feeling called...Love.