It's been a while

So, just in case you're wondering about where am i along this time
No new posting, no new lyric or poetry
Since my last post, i've been really busy
You know, doing my somehow troublesome final exams, psychology stuffs
It stressed me out, but i did it very well
Got IP 3.9 as the result, only 1 subject AB and i got A for the other 7! :D
After that, i was on a looooooooong vacation with my boyfriend for about 3 weeks
Then when the vacation over, we went back to our own home in different city for a while
And here i am, sitting on my own-old-room, safe and sound :)

Tbh, i don't like the feeling of being separated from my boyfriend
it makes me feel sooooooo insecure
it turns me into a badass mood-swingy sensitive girl
Even a simple thing could make me so mad with him
but in the other side, i miss him like crazy!

Sometimes...just sometimes...
I feel like i could never have him for my own
Cause, you know..his family, relatives
they often ask him to do this / that together
and when he's so busy there doing his family "stuffs"
all i'm doing is just sitting here all alone
do nothing, simply feeling so lonely and upset.

I know it's not his mistake that he couldn't have enough time for me
It's this damn hell situation!
I don't know why
but it feels like, he always choose his family over me
Eventho he always said that he will always choose me, i'm his priority, i'm his number one, or everything that sounds like that
I just can't fully believe in him
Because from the start, it seems like i was uninvited in his family
I'm always afraid that he doesn't has enough courage to choose me over his family
And everytime i think about it, i always end up crying like a fool
Simply,  i'm just afraid that someday he will leave me.

Ah, enough with it.
Just writing about it makes me feel torn apart again.
So, start from couple days ago, one of my cousin, Beatrice, is staying at my home
she accompanies me & we've done lot of fun stuffs
Badminton, Doggy-sitting, cooking, even we have a shower together :p Lols!
It does make me feel much better
At least, i could be happy for a while :)

I'd love to write longer but i can't
my mom is calling, duh :p
I'll catch up later~

- xoxo, RR -